Those that care don't matter
And those that matter don't care
I remember these words
They seem like distant past to me now
A memory of sorts
I have nothing now
For my other half has died
and now
what is life
a lone comrade?
like every other
I can hear the internationale
"live together or we'll die alone"
So re-assuring
And now most of my hope is dead as well
For if I had hope in this
And this ended
Then where the fuck does that put my faith in anything
When my everything leaves
Because I lack a prayer
I cannot comprehend
I feel....drained
As if I simply don't give a fuck
I cannot drink, Get stoned, or get fucked
Because temporary fixes
just make me feel like shit
No, no
I will simply eat ice-cream and sit
in front of my ol' lcd
playing HALO
Listening to stained
I hate myself
There seems like nothing left for me
I've lived a forfilling life
And now all I have are dreams
Dreams for children I may never have
Dreams of the southwest commune
And peace for man
If I could do one thing
to better myself
it would simply be to understand
and yet now
even if i did
I feel its too late
and that she doesn't even care
my pain will never truly go away
just like my last love
always there
I just cannot turn down my guard
for when it attacks
it atacks hard
an overwhelming sensation
that makes you want to cry
yes
thats what i'm avoid
telling myself its a lie
I hate myself
and theres so many reasons why
obiously I am inperfect
and so is everyone
save for one
that is perfect
but she left me
and i think i know why
I mean, who wants an ol' comrade
Who wants a radical
One who will take risks
To risk one's life for a future of peace
To activly speak out against a system that grows in power every day
Perhaps thats all that lies for me now
The only path left for me
I cannot find love
A love true enough to last
So I'll just join communist league
And dedicate my life to that
Fuck college
what kind of future is that
a borguise future
proletarian worker
a prisonor of wage
I'll simply be a wage slave
nothing more than that
and whats the point of being in slaved if not in love
now that sacrifice was once made
I would be against my beliefs
get married
raise kids
but what does it matter now
when I suck as much as i do
I hate myself
And can do nothing to indulge
Yet rot in my own filth
As I now seem quite destined to do
Interupted communications
And still I fail to see
Whom was it that was being talked to
Why does this information simply give me hope
Another false hope
That this could work out
And yet the answer stares at me once more
I hate myself
For being stupid
Now isn't this so
Yes I reply to myself
And my heard becoming cold as snow
I need only to rest now
And ease out my soul
I need only to die
Before I waste any more time in this show
I pain others for who I am
entertainment is nothing
For I know the command
Suicide is pointless
So i must be utilized
Communist league
for there is no one here to realize
That my heart needs duck tape
and the only one with any to use
No longer cares to use it
People
People and their drama
I no longer care for such games
In fact I want to be her friend
Do anything she requests
I still want her to be able to speak with me about problems
Instead of ditching me when i didn't understand
I reach out my hand
As the aligator snapped
For I am an agnostic
Who simply requires aid to understand
However there seems no point now
To what good will it do
Endulge myself in greed
huh
No thank you
Love is all I need
A love in the future indeed
I can grow from here
But not in the same way before
Not after a year
No, but I will have strength again
and live with it
for if love is not returned
what does it matter
I'll be a friend
And think only of the future
Until a day may come
When I'll watch our futures end
If the one
Reaches this poem
Simply know this
I am not and will not get intoxicated
And suicide is pointless
I am your friend
And welcome to be the shoulder you cry on
Or the ear in which your secrets are whispered
My future seems uncertain as of now
And my hopes somewhat shattered
However
I am still open to education
And please
Don't cry
I depresses me so
For at least one of us must be happy
Or this break up shouldn't be so
So I sacrifice myself
For who cares about a lone commy
You should prosper
Did i not mention to always have light
Even in the darkest of times
You may have a light
It doesn't matter what it is
As of now I have one
Its silly and probably shouldn't be told
So if we speak privatly
then perhaps a story unfold
Now please
do not be foolish
live out your life
Live it to the fullest
You deserve it more than myself
For I am nothing
And you are perfection
With whomever you choose beyond here
You'll bring them bliss
and hopeful cheer
I however will be somewhere else
Subterainian
In the shadows
Doing what the public eyes are too blind to see
lol
only in america
the land of the free ^-~
The oppression will soon die down
for the youth is standing up
So I might die
But not alone
My friendship to you
I am here
For you
I hate myself